Is it ever possible to be truly connected to another being?
There is a fear that exists inside most of us, and it is this fear that keeps us on our islands. We are right to feel afraid. When we were first introduced to the world, it shocked us how nonchalant it was. Even small children were not safe. And you were one of those unsafe children. Your mother did not take you out into a meadow and ask you to greet the day with an open heart. Your father did not walk you up to a tree and tell you to hug it. Instead, they lined up lines, and you watched them shoot it up their noses. They were on their islands. And they left you alone.
Connection, as you no doubt know, is not an easy thing to come by. I know we are all supposed to be connected to everyone. And maybe we are . . . But how can we feel connected to those closest to us when they do their damnedest to keep us at bay, at whatever cost, even with threats? This too can be a connection, in a way. But I’m sure that this is not what you meant when you asked your question. I’m thinking you were talking about a positive connection. For this to happen, a space has to be made. Sometimes the space you make is initially painful. It can keep you on your island, alone, for longer than you want, for longer than you’d like. But if there is no space, then there is no room for a being to connect to you.
What I’ve said here is blurry and vague and longwinded. What I really want to say is this: it is possible, but it is not easy. Before it can come, you must surrender, but you must only surrender in a place where you know that you will be unharmed.
I can speak only of my own experience, which has shown me that we can indeed be connected to other human beings, but only for fleeting moments. Sometimes the connection with a particular person consists of a single fleeting moment. Sometimes it consists of a series that spans days, weeks, months or years.
So true, J. Thank you for joining in. Connecting.
Is the eventual harm worth the positive connection?
There should never be eventual harm. Connection should never ask for more than you can give.
Connection, in its very nature, asks for more than we can give on a daily hourly basis. And yes , I think a positive connection is worth the suffering .
I keep reading all of these words over and over to make sure what I say resonates, to make sure I make the connection, to make sure I do no harm, cause no suffering, but I keep thinking about the ability to be vulnerable.
But about connection … maybe this is what I want to say … I don’t think surrender is truly surrender if it is only partially done or done like you wrote, “But you must only surrender in a place where you know that you will be unharmed.” I don’t think surrender can truly surrender if the surrenderer needs to know ahead of time there is some guarantee that there will be no harm, but maybe I am the crazy one.